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Competition is all around us. It arises whenever two or more parties strive for a goal that cannot be shared. We experience it in our personal and professional lives. It’s part of the fabric of our society.
How we compete is a reflection of our character and influences the way others perceive us in other areas of our lives.
Today’s lesson introduces ten traits of great competitors. Applicable in any competitive situation, adapting these traits will help you become a more respected rival.
Before you review the traits below, think of the last competition you were involved in. Maybe it was a heated game of family Monopoly, a high-stakes sales competition, or an intense tennis match. Whatever the circumstance, reflect on your behavior as you read through this list. What areas are most important to you? In which areas do you need to improve?
Ten Competitive Traits to Master
1. Congratulate your opponents when they win or experience success. This is the first rule of good sportsmanship and is equally applicable in the workplace. Extending congratulations demonstrates that you are not a poor sport and lets others know that you are not harboring ill feelings that will linger after the competition has ended.
2. Be a gracious winner. Never rub a loss in your opponent’s face. No one cares to be around people who gloat over their wins.
3. Celebrate respectfully. It’s normal to feel good after a win of any kind and to want to celebrate, but be conscious of those around you who may not share in your jubilation. Excessive celebration will be a turnoff to most people.
4. Maintain a sense of decorum. Always be mindful not to say derogatory things about your competitor, their team, or their candidate. Remember (unless you are a prizefighter) when you speak poorly of your competitors it damages your credibility and reputation in the process.
5. Keep a consistent attitude whether you win or lose. Michael Jordan, one of the best basketball players of all time, was also one of the most respected competitors for the way he handled himself both on the court and off the court. Virtually all of the teams and players he competed against over the course of his basketball career speak equally about his gifted abilities and his humble demeanor.
6. Use restraint. Take care not to be overly competitive in individual or group activities. If you’re on a team, play your part or your position; don’t try to cover for anyone else. If it’s an individual contest, do your best, but also use your opponent’s level of ability as a guide for how intense your participation should be.
7. Keep a lid on your frustration. If you must rely on others to win a competition and find yourself frustrated, try not to let it show. This only discourages your teammates and makes you appear self-righteous. Instead be the voice of encouragement.
8. Play fair. You lose all credibility as a worthy competitor when you cheat. Even worse, you will lose people’s respect.
9. Give the advantage to your opponent. When a play or other measure of performance is questionable, give your opponent the benefit of the doubt. Rarely will this cost you the competition, and it will always reflect well on your character. After all, how do you feel about people who give you the benefit of doubt?
10. Avoid complaining. No matter how you disguise it, when you complain about any aspect of a competition, it is perceived as whining, and nobody enjoys being around a whiner.
If you are as much a competitor as I am, some of these points will require self-control and some serious self-talk. I must admit that most of these lessons I learned the hard way.
The next time you find yourself in the middle of a competition, remember it’s how you compete that will leave a lasting impression, not whether you win or lose.
Great competitors earn respect, both in the way they compete and in how they handle themselves after their victories and defeats.
Which of the above traits do you think most people struggle with? What are the things others do that bother you? Please post your thoughts in the comment section below this post.
About the Author: Todd Smith is a successful entrepreneur of 29 years and founder of Little Things Matter. To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here. All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (Todd’s podcasts are listed #40 in America’s top 100 podcasts.)Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )
1] Potatoes: Boil potato peels in water, strain, and cook. Use the strained water as an after-shampoo rinse to darken grey heair.
2] Sage covers the grey when used consistently over a period of time. Simmer 1/2 cup dried sage in 2 cups of water for 30 minutes. Steep for 2-3 hours. Strain, use as rinse on clean hair. Leave on until hair has dried, then rinse out.
3] Mix 1 oz. sage, 1 oz. rosemary, and 1 pint of water. Simmer for 30 minutes and strain. Massage into the salp and grey hair.
4] Mix 1 tablespoon of apple-cidar vinegar with one gallon of warm water, use as final rinse.
Wash your hair with one of the following rinses. Pour the selected rinse through your hair 15 times, re-rinsing with the same liquid. On the final rinse, wring hair, and leave for 15 minutes before rinsing with clear water.
Simmer 1/2 cup dried sage in 2 cups water for 30 minutes, then steep for several hours. Apply to hair and leave on until dried. Then rinse and dry. Repeat weekly, until desired shade, then monthly to maintain color.
we suggest doing a “test strand” first by substituting brewed coffee for water + 2 tbsp apple cider vinegar mixed with Natural-Colors Henna, on several strands of hair.
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A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience,
Raised a glass of water and asked;
‘How heavy is this glass of water?’
Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.
The lecturer replied, ‘The absolute weight doesn’t matter.
It depends on how long you try to hold it.
If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance.
In each case, it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.’
‘And that’s the way it is with stress management.
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,
As the burden becomes increasingly heavy,
We won’t be able to carry on. ‘
‘As with the glass of water,
You have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.
When we’re refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.’
‘So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don’t carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow.
Whatever burdens you’re carrying now,
Let them down for a moment if you can.’
So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now. Don’t pick it up again until after you’ve rested a while.
Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:
* Accept that some days you’re the pigeon,
And some days you’re the statue.
* Always keep your words soft and sweet,
Just in case you have to eat them.
* Always wear stuff that will make you look good
If you die in the middle of it.
* Drive carefully. It’s not only cars that can be
“Recalled” by their maker.
* If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,
It was probably worth it.
* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.
* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time,
Because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.
* Nobody cares if you can’t dance well.
Just get up and dance.
* When everything’s coming your way,
You’re in the wrong lane.
* Birthdays are good for you.
The more you have, the longer you live.
* You may be only one person in the world,
But you may also be the world to one person.
* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
* We could learn a lot from crayons… Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery
Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today…I did :
Italy is a fashion-conscious nation and most Italians take their clothing very seriously. While Americans like to wear comfy old sneakers, ratty jeans and old t-shirts while on vacation, Italians feel that style and elegance trumps comfort. If you want to blend in during a trip to Italy, or just want to dress more stylishly every day, here are some tips to dress like an Italian.
Wear high-quality shoes, preferably in leather. Most women in Italy wear high heeled, pointed-toe shoes – even when walking on cobblestone streets. Men typically wear loafers. Most Italians wouldn’t be caught dead in sneakers and consider flip-flops to be beach attire.
Build your wardrobe around a few key pieces like a designer blazer, well-fitting linen pants and a silk blouse. Italians will save for 6 months to buy a designer clothing item rather than spend that money on a larger quantity of cheaper items.
Avoid clothing with logos, emblems, patches, embroidery and other distracting designs. Italians feel that large logos on clothing make people look like billboards.
Focus on well-tailored, minimalist outfits in neutral colors like black, white, beige and navy.
Steer clear of shorts, especially if you’re a woman. Many Italians find shorts to be distasteful, and if you’re visiting churches in Italy, you may find yourself unable to get in dressed as you are. Knee-length skirts are more appropriate.
Choose natural fabrics such as cotton, silk and linen rather than synthetics.
Look for accessories with understated elegance. Avoid loud scarves, large hoop earrings, and costume jewelry. Less is more – don’t load yourself down with accessories.
By CINDY LANGE-KUBICK / Lincoln Journal Star
Palmyra High’s homecoming came early this year. The dance traveled to the Monarch in Lincoln, where people go to die.
And where Brett Marie Christian, 15, crowned homecoming queen Saturday night, died, too, early Thursday with her family all around.
The girl who loved horses and softball and Facebook and cartoons and peanut butter on a spoon had leukemia. The kind that hits mostly adults and is the most dangerous, with only a 30 percent survival rate.
She was tired of fighting, her mom, Leah Buckbee, said Thursday.
There were lots of things the high school sophomore knew she’d miss. Getting married, having kids, growing old.
But she wanted one last dance.
That’s what her mom calls the magic that happened at the Monarch: Brett’s Last Dance.
Her daughter wore a pink dress and her hair in curls.
She had a manicure and then a pedicure. Her date bought her a corsage and a necklace, too.
Brett and Treyton Carter danced the first dance in the commons room, with 50 or more of their classmates who were dressed for a party.
Treyton grew up with Brett, all the way through school.
He went to see her every night at the Monarch. They watched TV, talked, cuddled. They kissed their first kiss.
Treyton’s mom and dad were there with him one night when Brett was talking about homecoming, how much she wanted to go. She had her dress already, a bargain she’d found at the mall.
She showed Treyton’s mom the dress.
Debbie Carter loved a bargain. How much did you pay for it, little girl, she asked.
Only $15, Brett told her.
But Debbie, I’m not going to be able to wear this…
Homecoming was still three weeks away.
Debbie’s eyes filled up.
By God, she thought, if she’s not going to homecoming, I’ll bring homecoming to her.
She talked to Brett’s mom. And later that night Debbie and her husband, Terry, drove to Bennet, and friends helped them design fliers.
Help us make a young girl’s dream come true. Let’s celebrate for Brett Christian. …
Treyton took the fliers to school the next day.
That Friday night at the football game, they told Brett’s story over the loudspeaker. Fans from both sides filled buckets with money.
Debbie and Terry enlisted more friends and hauled in donations for pop and pizza and party goods.
Nurses from Horisun Hospice, who’d cared for Brett at her home in Palmyra, found professionals to style her hair and do her nails.
The big day came. The dance started early, 4 in the afternoon, and was set to end at 7.
Late nights wore Brett out. Her pain was getting worse. Bruises were forming all over her body because her blood wouldn’t clot. She could still walk, but a wheelchair was nearby if she got weak.
Everyone was quiet after that first dance. Not sure quite what to do.
Then they just started rocking and rolling, Debbie said.
They danced and ate and they all went outside and passed around a football and hummed the Nebraska fight song. Her hospice nurses cheered her on.
And last year’s homecoming queen came.
And announced this year’s queen. Brett Marie Christian.
There was a sash and a tiara and lots of tears.
Brett put her hands to her face, just like Miss America, her mom said.
The dance lasted until 8:30. And she was so happy.
“There were days she got really sad,” her mom said, “because of all the things she wasn’t going to be able to do.”
But she didn’t allow the disappointment to stop her.
A few hours before she died, Brett woke up. She felt strange.
What’s happening, she asked.
The process has started, her mom told her.
Brett told her mom she loved her then. And her mom told her she loved her back, and her brothers and dad and relatives gathered close.
It was hard, but it was a blessing at the same time, her mom said.
“After four years of battling it’s nice to know she’s not suffering anymore.”
And they have the memory of homecoming fresh.
They have Brett’s last dance.
Reach Cindy Lange-Kubick at 402-473-7218 or firstname.lastname@example.org.
By Sarah Seltzer , RH Reality Check
How can so many American feminists have come out against a
burqa ban in France (as they largely 
when the burqa, along with other excessively modest religious garb, appears to be a classic tool of gender oppression?
The answer is that singling out the burqa as the only article of clothing patriarchal enough to merit legal regulation – or even strident criticism – is racist. Critique of women’s clothing, from burqas to cleavage, is
often leveraged for other purposes, whether they be religious, cultural or
political, and should be called out when it’s faux feminism , as Aziza Ahmed argued here on RH Reality Check.
But it’s also true that almost every cultural or religious group sets standards of appearance that oppress women. Most fashion, from the corset of yore to the bikini to the FLDS prairie dress to the Nike sneaker (made by women in sweatshops, marketed to Western women), tends to hew in some way to patriarchal norms. So the quandary we grapple with, as feminists, is how to acknowledge that fact without alienating, targeting or harassing  groups of women for the way they dress.
Remember the Manolo Blahnik pinkie toe-removal phenomenon , which hearkens back to Cinderella’s stepsisters in terms of the lengths women go to mutilate themselves on the altar of fashion? Imagine if we outlawed those heels for fear that some women would shorten their pinkie toes. In each instance of an oppressive custom of dress or beauty, it’s right to support those feminists who debate it. It is also crucial to examine the implications for women and for gender roles of dressing one way or another – it’s a clear example of the personal being political. But we have to do that without punishing or shaming women for their choice of outfit, as the French would seek to do.
Rather than single out other people’s problematic dress, we should all be engaged in a robust critique and examination of the way gender norms inform beauty standards everywhere. In France, a country that many of its
citizen claim is paradoxically so sexually liberated the burqa isn’t welcome, American-style short-shorts are still a novelty, for instance, likely to garner stares or catcalls. Women there tend to dress marginally more modestly than they do in America – except on beaches, where topless bathing is accepted. Evidently, the pressure to cover up, or to uncover, in various contexts may be stronger than we think, even in “free” Western countries.
Here in secular/commercialized America, women try to live up to a prepubescent ideal, buying into a diet industry that’s a racket and causes
eating disorders, using chemical bleaches on our hair, and undergoing
sometimes-painful waxing, peeling or plastic surgeries to look eternally young, slim and buxom. The beauty myth has always been part of our culture, but as feminist commentators like Naomi Wolf and Susan J. Douglas have noted, the craze for ever-smaller female bodies coincided with women taking up a more space in the workplace. Some women claim that restrictive fashion trends, obsessive calorie-counting and makeup make them feel great, but both women who love it and those who loathe it are spending money and energy on their looks in a way that most men simply don’t have to. The
Daily Show played with this idea last week:
And yes, in conservative communities of all denominations
(and non-religious ones as well) modest dressing restrictions treat all women
like jezebels, so unendingly sexual and distracting that their figures must be
kept out of sight. Such garb – even if it has different meanings for different
wearers – reinforces a misogynist ideal that puts the burden on women to cover up rather than men to avert their gaze.
This isn’t meant to equivocate between all patriarchal fashion or grooming trends – (certainly, styles that are restrictive or unhealthy are worse than those that are just silly), but to point out that they exist on a spectrum. Feminists stand up for women at either end of the spectrum even
when both ends do have pernicious aspects. Yes, we criticize “porn culture” at the same time as excoriating the “modesty movement.” But then we should also support women kicked off airplanes for wearing outfits deemed too skimpy – and rush to defend women denied jobs because they choose to wear the hijab.
Just because feminists acknowledge the problematic roots of a practice doesn’t mean that we can, or want, to bully it away. The way humans dress is an extension of our self-expression, our identity and an indication of how we align ourselves in terms of community norms and expectations. Attacks on
individual clothing or grooming choices often feel deeply personal and can put people on the defensive.
The truth is, rarely will clothing choices not be loaded, complex and full of contradictions – here in the US we have cheerleaders and beauty queens in suggestive outfits who wear chastity rings, and religious women who accent their modest clothing with perfume and Botox while toting a copy of Gender Trouble. Oppressive mainstream beauty standards may make modest clothing appealing, while puritanical religious customs may spur women to express their sexuality by stripping down. It’s not so easy to reject patriarchal standards in their entirety – if we didn’t shave, wax, or wear makeup (or at times, conceal the fact that we don’t) in strategic ways, we may well have a much harder time taken seriously by the world (except if the world were a hippie commune).
Open, nonjudgmental discussion of these complexities may
lead some women to turn towards comfort and away from custom–ditch their high heels or experiment with less modest clothing. But at the end of the day, different women have different reactions to what they wear. The feminist group Ni Putes Ni Soumises and other Muslim women have taken a convincingly strong stance against the burqa  while some burqa wearers say it’s a choice they make freely . Many women get a rush of happiness from high heels while other women curse them and wish their workplace was more accepting of less chic footwear.
That doesn’t mean we should throw up our hands and refuse to
examine the meaning and history of clothing styles and fashion expectations – we
should. It’s important to note which styles of dressing get women rewarded in
patriarchal societies and why. But when we do delve, we should delve holistically,
not focus mono-maniacally on habits-literally-of other women.
Reproductive rights advocates strive for a society where
choice means getting rid of social and legal obstacles to reproductive health
access instead of criticizing women’s individual reproductive decisions.
When feminists talk about clothing we try to focus on getting rid of the
gender, race and class expectations that feed into the way we dress and how we judge
women’s appearance.  We need to continue to target the pressure, coercion,
and legal and social compulsion that affects women, not women themselves. And
imposing laws that regulate clothing does not accomplish that goal, but curtails
women’s freedom even more seriously.
When I recently heard some celebrity boasting about how many fabulous friends she had, I decided to count all my friends on my fingers. However, I never got past my second finger. Aye, I’ve only two friends – Goldie and my shadow, the only companion that’s been with me every step of the way through life.
As for Goldie, he’s my goldfish and him and me have a lot in common. For example, we’re both good for nothing eegits, who spend all day going round and round in circles. Furthermore, while his house is his goldfish bowl, from where he looks out on to the world all day long, my house is my goldfish bowl, where I go from window to window, looking out on to the world all day long.
Well anyway, I used to feel terribly sorry for Goldie, because I felt he led an awfully dreary boring life, going round and round yon bowl all day long. Of course, I used to try and lighten his day by talking to him. But sure he was like everyone else ….. he just ignored me!
But now someone’s just told me that a goldfish only has a 5 second memory span, which means in effect, that every time he sets off on another round of his bowl, he’s actually starting off on yet another brand new journey of adventure, full of exciting and interesting sights. So I no longer feel at all sorry for Goldie. In fact, to be quite honest, I feel very envious of him!
By Michael LaveryRead Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )
He was the wizard of a thousand kings,
and I chanced to meet him one night wandering.
He told me tales, and he drank my wine,
me and my magic man kinda feelin’ fine.
He had a cloak of gold and eyes of fire,
and as he spoke I felt a deep desire,
to free the world from its fear and pain,
and help the people to feel free again.
Why don’t we listen to the voices in our hearts
’cause then I know we’d find that we’re not so far apart.
Everybody’s got to be happy. Everyone should sing,
for we know the joy of life, the peace that love can bring.
So spoke the wizard in his mountain home.
The vision of his wisdom means we’ll never be alone.
And I will dream of my magic night,
And the million silver stars that guide me with their light.
Peace & Justice,
~VinceRead Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )
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